Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Thursday, July 10, 2008

mood: mourning

We had gone through one of the saddest trials in our marriage life during the past weeks.

I had a miscarriage and lost what could have been our first born.


Our very first ANGEL…our very first joy.

I didn’t expect to recover fast from the lost and be able to cope well with what happened. But “Praise to HIM” for the strength HE had given us…I know that HE did a lot with how we got through this test.

“Thank you” also goes to all our friends who took time to say hello and let us know that we are in their prayers. And that there is always a next time… (:

Everytime I’m being asked how I’m doing, “Ok and better” would be my answers but deep inside I know there’s a part of me that will forever be mourning over losing her. (:

Her…yes, because I felt that it was a girl. And my husband thought so, too.

He could have her named Aira May.
I would have wanted Ma. Elisa Carmen Silao Almeria.
But whatever could have her name…if only…


The pain is there but life has to go on.

We’re taking it as HIS will and HIS WILL BE DONE. Indi man kami gusto ipilit. HE knows what’s best for us. Sometimes it hits me but I don’t want to find faults and blame. And I’m proud to say, I never even thought of asking HIM “Why?”.

I know in all these, it was my husband who gone through more but it was during this time that I realized even more how much my husband loves me. I was spoiled the whole time! (: And I knew that Nonoy is and will always be my strength. That as long as I am with him, everything will turn out fine.

And to our baby, this poem I have written…

Our very first ANGEL…
you’ll always be
to your “papa” and me.
Forever we would wish
to have carried and held you
sang you lullabies
cradled in our arms
‘til you have closed your eyes.
Forever we will dream
of your smile
giggles
and how you will grow in our lives.
We hope that even once
in your early life
you’ve felt how much
you are loved.
Look upon us –
your papa and mama
once in a while.
Our little angel,
rest now and sleep tight.